I hold you close
And for a minute
I can't hear the hum pum puff
Of your oxygen concentrator
And I can't see the plastic tubes
Across your face and feeding your tiny nostrils
With life giving air.
Instead, I marvel at your perfect lashes
Lying on your chubby cheeks
And let you tangle your sweet hands in my hair.
I smell your delicious, clean baby smell and
Listen to you as you
Breathe.
Breathe in and out
And I push away again those dark thoughts rising.
I didn't realise I was such a control freak
Until becoming a mother
Showed me just how little control I have
Over sleep,
Over time,
Over breath.
Just breathe.
Take a deep breath
And let it go
Surrendering to
The daily bread provided
For our sustenance
Our strength,
Our hope,
Our breath.
I hold you close
And we breathe together.
